josh makes a good point...

i, too, have been unusually excited about christmas this year! for some reason, tho i'm not as externally festive as i've been in the past - fewer decorations, less holiday paraphernalia - i am feeling more anticipation than usual. maybe it's because i missed out on a lot of "christmas" last year while i was in portland, but this christmas feels new to me. certainly, a big factor is that this will be the first christmas eve that curtis will be home when the girls are getting ready for bed and opening their teaser christmas eve gift. i have always done this myself, and then usually sat alone for an hour or more waiting for him to be done work, just shrugging it off as "the way it is". but knowing that he will be here, and we will all be together, increases my joy exponentially. i am feeling warm and fuzzy, just sitting here thinking about it. a pastor's family shouldn't have to miss out on the best moments for christmas - it just makes you hate christmas a little bit. and year by year it becomes less special and less wondrous... but not this year. this year christmas eve has been transformed from a work night into a real night of peace on earth and joy to my world.

because the things that make it holy are not just the babe in the straw, a star and shepherds, but the present and real Jesus, weaving in a dance amid my daughters laughter and curtis' and my love for each other, and God's joy witnessing all of it. the baby doesn't make a difference if he didn't grow to be a man, and the man changes nothing if he didn't sacrifice his life for us, and his sacrifice is meaningless unless he really was resurrected - only the present and real, resurrected Jesus gives the baby of the manger the power to change everything.

oh, holy night....