Friday, May 22, 2009
i was reminded today that this is the 2nd anniversary of "meeting mark". i count from a little earlier, when we started talking, but memorial weekend is the weekend we clapped eyes on one another. the things i remember about that weekend would fill pages here - so i will keep it down to one, for your sakes. :)
i didn't look enough. i would look at him, but he'd notice and i'd look away. i was too shy (me, shy!?) to really look, to stare, to drink in his face and expressions, to etch them into my mind. i regretted it as soon as we got in the car to drive away. i was so worried that this had been my only chance, and i'd blown it.
clearly, i was wrong! :) thank God!
a funny thing has happened in my mind. although i know my life exists as "pre & post mark", my brain works hard to fit him into my childhood, my memories. i don't remember anything clearly anymore... there's always someone moving in the photo - a blur. it's odd, but in my heart, there is no "pre/post" distinction. my entire inner orientation has shifted, so my life has always been "post mark". i know that probably doesn't make sense to you, but there you have it.
he is a lovely boy. i secretly love him! :)