one friend is letting go, she told me with tears in her eyes. two more are brokenhearted in the face of death. one has to start over - again. one is fighting to pay her bills, one is fighting with her kids, one is fighting just to be sane. and those are just the people i've talked to since sunday.
i feel war on all sides - within me and surrounding me. the accumulation of hurt in the lives of the people i love, not to mention my own, is threatening to swamp me. overarching all that is our global pain - children in poverty, human trafficking, rampant war and genocide, aids & disease, the groaning of the earth itself as we abuse it's resources and strip it's forests.
i add my voice to the chorus of "why, God? where, God?" it's not doubt, understand. it's not that i don't think You are real, or even that i don't think You are here. i see the Your beauty in the lushness of the green outside my window. i see You working though kids who go hungry for a day so others won't have to. You are in the hand extended across a line, the small acts of mercy seen in a cup of water or a piece of bread. if we are to be Your hands and feet, forgive us. we do so little. open my eyes to see where these hands and these feet can be Yours. i don't want to stand mute & frozen in the face of all this suffering...
4 comments:
Dear Rae,
Wow, I have had a similar day yesterday and had my friends call me with hurt relationships etc. I do not know what is going on since Sunday, but I definitely feel the "war zone." Please keep me in your prayers too. I have to focus on making this video, yet am having to deal with soo much emotions in the last few days.
I don't want to stand mute & frozen either. There is an organization that some friends of mine work with sometimes in Thailand that works to get children and women out of the sex trade. They have a video about the cause and who they are and in it, the narrator says this, "You may be asking, 'Where is God?' But God may be asking, 'Where are you?'" I think about that a lot and it reminds me that I don't have to walk out the door today and save the world. I just have to take another step in doing something that matters. It also reminds me that I am an active part of God's story.
Krissi: I think this is the organization you're talking about. Just in case others are interested...
http://www.freedom4-24.com/
Rae... I have felt this way. I have said to BS, "If I dont' find one person who is strong and well and happy I will die!" And I do find those people. We can't fix each other's lives... it is too big a load to carry. But we can give them our smile... a bit of our life. That is more than we know.
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