a moment of depth

i am a little confused. i've been reading the OT (joshua, judges, ruth and 1 samuel) since being here in KY, and it has been very interesting. i do not feel like i know this God. maybe it's reading it in a new translation for the first time in many years, but the God of israel - while willing to forgive and redeem under the right circumstances - is incredibly harsh. father's sacrificing virgin daughters, slaughtering 10's of 1000's of women and children, smiting people left, right and center. i guess i see why - he is holy, and they are worshipping idols left, right and center, but it made me uneasy. maybe, though, i have gotten too far from his righteous anger, too used to the "nice" version of Jesus we all know and love. but as i think about it, when i read the gospels earlier this year, Jesus was pretty stern, too. he was not fooling around. yes, he was full of love, but he was unyielding too, and gave impossible commands, and demanded obedience. so maybe the God of the OT and the God revealed through Jesus in the NT are not that disparate, but they sure feel that way. i am going to have to think about that some more, i think. all i know is that if i were an israelite back in the day, i would have lived terrified. and maybe i ought to live with a little more of that reverent 'fear of God' in my life today...cause to be honest, i act like an israelite an awful lot...