Thursday, January 25, 2007

on my mind

man - this visa thing - i am trying to be brave, you know? i have my paperwork all filled out, and curtis should have his finished today...then off it goes into the hands of people who probably don't really care too much. it is very strange to live as an 'alien' in a foreign country. we look the same, and (mostly) sound the same, but we don't belong here. we are outsiders. we have to ask permission to live the life here that we want to live, and that is a little bit disconcerting, if i'm being honest. because this is where we want to build our life, our church and grow up our The Girls. i am reading a great book where the author talks about the fear of loss...and i am definitely working through that. i have to remind myself that what is true is that our life here comes from the hand of God, who has 'made the boundary lines fall for me in pleasant places' (psalm 16:6). it is more than i ever dreamed for myself. and God is sovereign over the 'kings of the earth' (many, many psalms) and there is nothing on earth that is beyond his control. so i am practicing the discipline of fortitude...courage based on the grace and power of God. this is not "airy fairy" faith...this is practical, "rubber meets the road", muscular faith! at the end of the day, i have committed my life to serving God and following his voice. and like curtis says, the worst case senario is that we would serve him in another place, which is no desperate thing. but God knows my heart - our hearts - and that we want to stay here. so ... i am praying, and i am excersising my faith.

Dear Jesus, go before us and make a way. Thank you for all the times you have done that before, and thank you for doing it again. Amen.


Joey said...

Rae...this has been on my heart and I love that God gives us opportunity to remember just how wonderful he's been to us and to pour out our hearts before him...I keep hearing Psalm 37:3-4 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
He's already providing your safe pasture and has laid out the plans to deliver the desires of your heart!! Love ya :0)

casey said...

this process is in my prayers, Rach. I'm so glad you are working through this.