curtis was reading to me out loud from his e-reader 'velvet elvis' by rob bell while we were in bed last night. he came across a passage that says - (paraphrased here due to me not having the actual book) - that our purpose isn't to "succeed" but rather to relentlessly pursue becoming fully who we are created to be, and anything else is sin. sin! that's a rather surprising end to that sentence, don't you think? i could see "counterproductive", but sin??
rather provocative, really. i can spend all my time trying to please others, to be the lived out version of whatever perfect person i have in my head, but all the while be killing, smothering or silencing my true & real self... and when i do that, i deny who God made me to be, and that is sin. yet if i were to let everyone else's opinion (real or imagined by me) go, i can live out of freedom and my personhood will grow and expand and my life will begin to be contagious for it's characteristics of, well, Life.
he ends the section with this thought - "i am not defined by what i am not". now there are words to live by!