Wednesday, October 17, 2007

disclaimer

so i have some things going on in my life, some external & some internal, which are more overwhelming than i expected. i thought it would be like a stroll, or at worst a hike, through the park, but have found it to be a lot more like navigating the fireswamp without the dread pirate roberts to pull me from the snow sand. i feel constantly ambushed - not even by big things, necessarily. even dinner can undo me. i teeter on the brink of overwhelmed at every moment, never sure what i can do to help myself, or how to let others (read "curtis") help me. add to that the guilt i feel for not being the wife/mother/friend/"insert role here" that i ought to/could be, man... it's harsh over here.

so if you pass me on the street or in kroger or at church and i just don't seem myself, please don't think it's you. it's really not you. it's me. i promise.

5 comments:

kristine said...

ah babe, i wish we weren't in the same pot, but i am glad it's you i'm being boiled with. lots of prayers and love your way.

Sarah said...

It's me, isnt it? Watch out for the ROUS's....

rachel said...

sarah, i didn't want to say anything, but... yes. it's you.

Anonymous said...

you're giving me the "it's not you,it's me"? You can't do that! I invented it's not you, it's me! It's mine!

rachel said...

well, i don't see your name on it... anywhere...