last night my daughter, age 10 1/2, went to the silver ring thing - a faith based abstinence 'rally' (for lack of a better term). not everyone who reads this blog is a fan of such things, i assume, but say what you will - she's my daughter, it's our faith, and her choice. in addition to the fact that we live in an age of rampant std's and overt sexuality that leads to a lot of pain and brokenness. i've seen it first hand in my friends & in my family. but this isn't a post about abstinence. (and i feel the need to add we did not take her last night in lieu of teaching & talking to her ourselves.)
this is a post about the trauma of being a parent and watching your little girl grow up. watching her slowly morphing into a young woman ... it started with deodorant, then The Talk (you should have seen the look on her face!) :), and we all know where it will end. she will be a grown up. where is the time going?
my brother just had twin girls 6 weeks ago, and already they are different - more alert, chubbier, more responsive... they are growing up to.
cherish your time, spend it wisely - it is more limited & more valuable than any dollar you have (or do not have!) we can't earn more - when it's gone, it's gone. be intentional. as much as i am loathe to admit it, like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives...
but all the knowing & love in the world won't mean a thing if you don't believe it or believe you deserve it.
"so many believe that it is love that grows, but it is the knowing that grows and love simply expands to contain it. love is just the skin of knowing."
this is why i love The Girls more as they grow & i get to see more of who they are as individuals. this is why marriage can get richer every year as we learn to know the deepest inner parts of our spouse. this is why long friendships are so sweet, and why, for many of us, sometimes we just want to go home, back to where we are known.
the trouble is, being known or allowing ourselves to become known, is a scary thing. it involves walking around a little bit naked - in the heart department! :) but there is nothing better than the security of being loved by someone who really knows you... lumps and all... and still wants to be around you. i would dare to say it's completely worth the risk...
it's so true, isn't it? middle school pretty much sucked for everyone. i, myself, had the worst year of my life by far in middle school...and curtis and i have lived through some pretty difficult times. thanks for all your comments & encouragements - it's good for me to remember that middle school will not be her whole life when i want to storm the castle, as it were, and do smack mouthy kids around! as mark would say, "that's not very christian of you...." :)
it's very, very important to me not to unconsciously teach her to compromise her beliefs in order to gain friends, so we have decided that she should write a persuasive letter to her principal, explaining why her school needs a comprehensive recycling program, using the school's own value system as her argument. i am going to help champion her cause for bigger change than just a few students here and there... it gives us both something productive to do other than just focus on the negative things. she is really excited about the possibilities, saying, "this will be the first thing i do to change the world". it was so good to see her reemerge ...
we will survive middle school. people do. but i didn't think it would be this hard. i read somewhere once that to be a parent is to live with an open wound... and i was reminded again this month how true that is...
i hate that kyra falls asleep with tears on her lashes. i hate the overly bright eyes and wobbling smile when i drop her off. i hate that kids tease her for wanting to recycle. i hate that she feels overwhelmed with her scary law class. i hate that anyone would look at her and not see the beautiful spirit she has, her incredible passion and joyful heart, and love them and her. i hate that. and i hate that i can't rescue her from it. i hate that most of all.
kyra is a passionate girl. i often find her digging through the kitchen garbage can, pulling out reciepts and other very small scraps of paper to recycle. she was upset to the point of tears - yes, tears - last week over all the empty pop bottles in the trash cans at her school, due to lack of recycling containers. every time i make a move toward the garbage, she leaps up from her chair and offers to put whatever i am holding in the recycling - even if it's not recycling. :)
then, stepping off the bus today, kyra was toting not only her book bag & two large, unwieldy textbooks, but also a plastic grocery bag full to the brim. what was surprising about this was that the grocery bag was not part of her ensemble when she left this morning. upon asking her, she grinned widely and said that the box that took up most of the space held the recycling she had collected from the classroom and brought home to put in our container, and the remainder was candy wrappers & trash she had prevented from being thrown out the bus window as litter on the ride home by her peers.
and that i just one more reason why i love my daughter. she is going to change the world... she already is.
you know what i really don't like about being a mom?
homework. i really don't like homework time.
at all.
last night my daughter, age 10 1/2, went to the silver ring thing - a faith based abstinence 'rally' (for lack of a better term). not everyone who reads this blog is a fan of such things, i assume, but say what you will - she's my daughter, it's our faith, and her choice. in addition to the fact that we live in an age of rampant std's and overt sexuality that leads to a lot of pain and brokenness. i've seen it first hand in my friends & in my family. but this isn't a post about abstinence. (and i feel the need to add we did not take her last night in lieu of teaching & talking to her ourselves.)
